We have been waiting for this drunk, horny trainwreck for far too long, and if the previews do this season any justice, we won’t be disappointed. If you missed anything last night, we’ve got you covered, so please do yourself a favor and grab some PJs, a bottle of wine (skip the glass), and a snack. Do we need to warn you about spoilers? This is a recap of what happened, so yes, episode 1 spoilers.
Hello Baches My Old Friends
We got the rundown of what everyone has been up to. The twins: we’re so different! Lace: my hair is longer and I drink a lot, but I am aware of how much I drink. Daniel: pronouncing Bachelorette is hard and “I’m like a disease, I just won’t go away… like herpes or something.” Okay so only the last part was a direct quote and there was a little more, but you get the idea.
When Baches Collide
One by one our favorites reunited or met for the first time. Daniel spent a lot of time judging and rating looks, while Evan enjoyed every Chad-less minute… until the last guy walked out. We all knew it was coming and boy did it ever.
The first (and only) girl to get a date card this episode was Jubs! From before she even landed in paradise she was planning on asking a certain someone, the same someone Emily was excited about… and the flavor of the month goes to Jared.
Fast forward to date night: surrounded by more pinatas than you can probably imagine, Jubs and Jared bonded over Lord of the Rings and being nerds. That is until they were interrupted by a terrifying clown armed with a stick to smash the many pinatas.